Are We There Yet?

GOOD afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is the captain speaking.

Before we get under way with our regularly scheduled Net surfing, I'd just like to take a moment to point out to all of you one of the more popular "features" of the Internet service we provide to all of you, our paying corporate customers, from the caring folks at SBC Communications. You may have noticed that in the past few hours, your tracert times have shown up with excruciatingly slow response times. In fact, if you're a member of the frequent Internet surfer group, which we have affectionately termed "Net addict", then you've probably noticed that this is a daily routine.

Exhibit A: Tracert from the offending Internet connection to AWTY. Image (43.2KB) uploaded to AWTY server in 15 minutes at an average rate of 48 bytes/sec.

Well, I've been tasked with the enviable position of explaining to all of you, our paying corporate customers, exactly what it is you're experiencing. We here at SBC like to encourage moderation in the use of the Internet as a part of a balanced daily lifestyle. Our "Daily Internet Slowdown" (or DIS for short) is one way we support this policy. While you may think of it as aggravating, annoying, and for you "lawyer types" out there - grounds for a class action lawsuit - we prefer to think of this intentional degradation of service as a public service to our users that encourages you to all step outside for a moment, enjoy the 0 degree weather and get some fresh, frigid air.

Happy surfing!

The preceding was an unpaid public service announcement from AWTY™, a non-profit organization consisting of the poor schmucks that have the pleasure of paying SBC Communications to provide their place of employment with "high-speed" Internet service.